In the last Newsletter, we looked at a work situation, to learn how one employee’s unchecked thoughts, caused her to feel out of control and stressed for several days.  

This week, we explore how our attempts to predict the future add to our feelings of stress.

Want to feel less stress?  Stop trying to predict the future.

I don’t know what I’ll be doing 5 minutes from now, much less, what I will be doing in 6 months, a year or 10 years from now.  I can plan, and I can dream, but circumstances change, new ideas come in, and before I know it, my present moment, looks nothing like the one I planned last week.  

We are terrible at predicting the future.  Yet, we make up stories all the time about what will happen if our child gets sick, we lose our job, our spouse leaves us, or the car breaks down.  The unconscious mind, looks at our past experiences, things we heard on the news, comments from our friends, and then quickly imagines a distressful future.  We assume that the horrible future that just flashed in our mind, must be an accurate prediction of our future, and we immediately go into action worrying about something that is completely made up. 

There are forces at work in life, that we cannot see, touch or hear, but they exist just the same.  We are a part of the natural ebb and flow of energy that beats our hearts, spins the earth and holds the stars in space. The people around us, are not predictable, events are not predictable.  There is no way to be one hundred percent sure, that the fearful thoughts in our head, will come to pass. 

How many times a day, do you get an anxiety provoking thought that sends your emotions out of control?  More often than you realize.  If you’re sitting at your desk at work, and suddenly feel anxious, chances are good that an unsettling thought just passed through your head.  Scientists speculate that several thousand thoughts pass through our brains each day.  Most of them pass through unnoticed.  However, some of these thoughts are loud enough, to get our attention. The things those thoughts say to us, prevent us from having the life we want, because we let them stop us before we even start.  

Let’s say you just found out that you have to move, and you must make your decision by this time next year.   Your decision may or may not include a job or career change.  You are having trouble deciding if you want to live in Tampa or somewhere else.  You grew up in Tampa, you have friends there. It would be an easy transition, but therein lies is your dilemma.  You think you might want something different, but you’re not sure. To help you decide, you start a pros and cons list.  Unfortunately, most of the things on your list, are nothing more than conjecture.  Some of those ideas are scary or disheartening.  You ask friends and family members for their input, but their responses are based on their life experiences and are not necessarily in alignment with who you are.  Before you know it, your thinking gears are locked up, your mind is no longer open, and no new ideas are coming to you. You push yourself to think, think, think, but nothing is coming to you and you’re getting frustrated. 

That’s when you decide to give up.  You take your hands off the wheel.  Go for a walk, visit a friend, or simply relax.  You stop ruminating on the decision you have to make, and you notice the stress you were feeling, is easing up. You begin to get in touch with what would make you happy.   When you think about  the different cities you could move to, which cities “light you up”? 

As you begin to look at the decision as an opportunity to create a new life for yourself, and stop viewing it as a huge decision that needs to be made, fresh ideas will come to you.  Instead of feeling stressed, you will begin to feel excited about the future.  When intimidating “what if” thoughts try to snuff out your excitement, you will see them for what they are… random thoughts with no real proof to support them.  If you don’t give any attention to them, they vanish like smoke.

The secret to a stress-free life, is learning to let go, and trust that the answers will come, right on time, and just when we need them.  

Warm Regards,