Last summer, my husband and I noticed a large, beautiful butterfly flitting from flower to flower. We both remarked on how graceful and colorful the butterfly was. Of course, I had to snap a photo with my cell phone.
It wasn’t until I was admiring the photograph for the 7th or 8th time, that I realized the butterfly was missing part of his left wing. I
could have used Photoshop to add back the part of his wing that is missing, but that damaged wing makes him even more interesting to me.
How did he come to lose that part of his wing? Was it torn away by a hungry bird or was it damaged when he transformed from a caterpillar into a butterfly? Was he one of a million butterflies released at a wedding reception and injured by other butterflies rushing to get out of their container? Or, was he
captured in a net by a young butterfly hunter who eventually let him go? I'll never know the answer. Whatever happened to him, he was now imperfect by butterfly standards. He would never make it into anyone's butterfly collection.
Like many of us, what if this butterfly was a perfectionist? Would he hide himself in shame because his torn wing made him imperfect? Would he constantly compare himself to other butterflies and worry if he would
ever get a date? Would he struggle with feelings of unworthiness and feel inferior to the other butterflies? Would he become depressed, because he couldn't afford plastic surgery to replace the torn part of his wing?
What about you? Do you berate yourself or hold yourself back, because you don't feel you are enough? Thin enough, educated enough, rich enough, pretty enough, lovable enough? Does your self-talk include thoughts
such as; "How dare you?" or "Who do you think you are?" Do you feel pressure from family members or friends to attend gatherings you don't want to attend? Or, are you criticized for not thinking like the rest of the tribe? Are you afraid of being judged or ridiculed?
Like many people, I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and fear from time to time. I've experienced more than my fair share of pressure from family members to do
things their way. So, I'll share something I've learned over the past few years, in my personal life. The people who are prone to judge and ridicule others, are going to do so, no matter what you do. They are going to say insensitive, mean things about you behind your back, because that's what they do. That's how they suppress and control others. I guess it makes them feel powerful and righteous, and it numbs their own feelings of unworthiness. The judges and
the critics always run in packs... they are bullies and cowards.
So why risk being yourself, speaking your truth or setting boundaries if you're going to be rejected? Because it's crucial for your physical, emotional and mental well being. People pleasing, hiding your true self, and letting others disrespect your boundaries, turns into self-condemnation, low self-esteem, depression and feelings of unworthiness. Physical symptoms can range from trouble
breathing, sleeplessness, eating disorders, addictions, heart attacks, etc... You will exhaust yourself, attempting to live up to the expectations of others, only to find out that nothing you do pleases them.
Let go of the need to be what others want you to be, step out of the shadows and let them see who you really are. It's scary, but you'll learn who is really supportive of you, and who only wants to manipulate and control
you.
I’m a firm believer in the symbolic meaning of things we come across in everyday life. I think this magnificent butterfly is a symbol we can use to remind all of us of what we can accomplish when we ignore our real or imagined shortcomings and bravely crawl out of our safe cocoons, spread our wings and allow the world to see our authentic selves.
If this butterfly had a message for you, what would it
be?
