When was the last time you paid attention to how you spend your time?   Are you spending your time with people and on activities that energize you, or drain you?  If your honest answer is that you spend too much time with people, or doing activities that drain your energy, it’s time to make some adjustments in your life.  When your energy is depleted, you have nothing to give to yourself or anyone else.  

Taking steps to eliminate or reduce energy drains from your life is a form of self-care.  However,it will not only benefit you, but those who depend on you as well.  

Often, when people decide to make a change in their lives, they think about adding activities.  They try to add hobbies, workouts, reading time or family time to their already overly full calendar. If your calendar is already way too full, there is no room to add anything else.  A more realistic way to invite change into your life, is to look for activities or people that you might need to remove from your life.  

Step One:  For the next 7 days, keep a log/journal of how you spend each day.  Try not to leave anything out, even if it seems trivial.  During those 7 days, don’t attempt to change your current patterns or habits, just notice what you do, who you spend your time with and how you feel when you are engaged in those activities.  When you pay conscious attention to how you spend your time, you take a big step toward making a positive change.

Step Two:  At the end of the 7 days, spend 15 - 30 minutes going over your journal entries for the week.  Use a blank sheet of paper, and make two columns.  Label one column Energy Drains and the second column Energizers.  Look back over the past week, and ask yourself these or similar questions:

What are the activities and who are the people who drained my energy this week?

 Which activities or people left me feeling energized and good about myself?

What else could I add to these two columns?  

Step Three:  Commit to eliminate or reduce the time you spend with one person or on one activity that is in your Energy Drains column.  This should be an easy “baby step”, don’t tackle anything major, such as your boring job or your spouse’s angry outbursts, just yet.  Choose something measurable that you know you can easily accomplish.  The fear factor should be low. Write down your choice and give yourself a deadline by which to accomplish this task.  A few days will be enough for most small changes.

Step Four:  When your deadline arrives, go back to your log/journal.   On a blank page, describe how you made the change and the benefits you have received from making that change.  Now, you’re ready to tackle another energy drain.  (If you were unable to remove or reduce that energy drain, ask yourself what stood in your way.  Either choose a less challenging energy drain to work on, or give yourself more time to accomplish this task.)

Step Five:  Repeat Steps Three and Four until you have reduced the time spent on, or eliminated completely, the energy draining people and activities you listed in Step Two. 

Step Six:  As you free up your time and become more excited about your life, you can either start adding activities and people from your Energizers list or simply enjoy having more energy and feeling less stressed.

Bonus Tip:  Set yourself up to succeed by asking a close friend to help keep you accountable to do the things you say you’ll do, and to stop doing the things that you determine, no longer serve you.    

It is admirable and honorable, to be of service and give unselfishly to others.  Generosity can become an unhealthy situation if you’re "giving" becomes unsustainable, due to your lack of resources such as energy, time, money, etc....  Use the steps outlined above, to identify where you are over-giving of your time and of yourself, and make the necessary changes to set healthy boundaries.