Do you find yourself making statements like these?  “When I have more money, then I’ll be happy.”  “I’ll be happy when my ex stops doing things that frustrate and annoy me.”  Or, what about these comments?   “When I find a better job or when I lose weight or when the kids move out, then I’ll be happy.”  Think about this… When we rely on other people or external circumstances to change, before we can be happy, we give control of our lives over to something or someone else.   

We have been trained to believe that our nosy mother-in-law or the driver who cut us off in traffic is the cause of our suffering.  It is common for us to think that our ex-spouse’s bad behavior is causing us to feel unhappy and stressed.  We think our lack of money, or working at a job we don’t like, or our out-of-shape body is the source of our unhappiness.  

In truth, often it is our own thoughts and actions that cause our distressful feelings.  That’s actually good news.  Why?  Consider this... If your thinking is the source of your unhappiness, then you have the power to make a change.  If someone else or something else has to change in order for you to feel happy, you are stuck waiting for something that may never happen.  Do you really want to give someone else that much control over your experience of life?

What if you never have any more money than you have right now?  If your ex never stops behaving badly, where does that leave you?  What if you never lose the weight you want to lose?  What if it takes another year to find a different job?  Are you going to feel frustrated and distressed or continue to mentally berate yourself until something shifts?  Or, are you going to open your mind to find other ways of looking at these issues so you can feel happier and at peace right now?

Often, our unhappiness is a signal that we are in a run-down frame of mind.  When you get upset at someone or some situation, you may notice that your energy is already low and your current mindset is not your best.  If you are trying to figure out how to pay the rent because your bank account is low, an answer is not likely to come when you are in a worried state of mind.  This is not the time to make decisions or apply more thinking to a problem.  Instead, now is the time to take a mental step away from the issue and turn your attention toward something that relaxes you or makes you feel good about yourself.  

When we relax and let go of outcome, we view our circumstances through the lens of compassion, understanding, creativity and patience.  From this viewpoint, you still may not like what your ex is doing, but you will realize that his actions have no effect on you if you drop your expectations of him and detach yourself.  When you do not allow thoughts of lack and limitation to take control of your mind, a creative solution to your concerns about money, your job, your weight or your kids will surface.  

Happiness is available to you right now, in this moment.  Why wait?