In my practice as a Divorce and Life Strategy Coach, I receive phone calls from married people all over the world.  Many of these callers, describe their marriages as tumultuous. I often hear the phrase; “I’m tired of walking on eggshells” when they describe their feelings.  They are doing everything they can to make the relationship better, but nothing seems to work.  The  rare, peaceful moments don’t last very long, and they are frustrated and worn out from the squabbles that are the norm in their household.

Most of the time, the outbursts are about something in the physical realm.  By physical, I am referring to everyday, ordinary things like unmade beds, a messy house, trash that has not been taken out, an untrimmed lawn, dirty laundry, or demands that dinner be on the table at a certain time every day.  The people who call on me for help, feel unimportant, unloved, stressed out and frustrated.  Their needs are ignored by their partner, yet they are expected to do everything their spouse wants them to do, the way they want it done.  It’s fertile ground for resentment and discord, but certainly not a formula for a happy, peaceful relationship.  Although some of these issues are culturally based or reflect a difference in the way individuals view marriage, I think a very important piece is missing in many of these relationships… there is no spiritual connection.

Couples who have a spiritual connection to each other, treat each other very differently than couples who have either lost that deep connection or never had it in the first place.  When I use the word spiritual, I am not referring to anything religious.  Instead, I am referring to a way of relating to your spouse that is spirit or soul based as opposed to a focus on the more tangible aspects of home life or the other person.  

People who are connected to their spouse on a spiritual level, demonstrate more patience, kindness and forgiveness than those who are focused primarily on manipulating their spouse to get their own needs met.  To have a spiritual connection with your partner, does not sentence you to a life of chaos or a messy house.  On the contrary, it leads to more harmony, cooperation on household tasks and a stronger partnership.  When you have a relationship that is spiritual in nature, the neatness of the living space or getting your spouse to do things your way, become unimportant and unnecessary.  

Take your relationship to higher ground, and you’ll notice that blame, criticism and stress will be replaced with peace, real love, trust and a desire to honor yourself and each other.