Your Empowered Self - Newsletter August 17, 2015 A Note To My
Readers
Hello,
My intention, is to write a newsletter that contains food for thought or ideas you can apply to many different life situations. Occasionally, I will write specifically about divorce.
If you are receiving this newsletter, but are not particularly interested in the topic of divorce, please consider that the ideas that apply to divorce, can often be adapted to other areas of life. For example, the process of ending a friendship, setting boundaries with loved ones, or leaving a job you have had for a long period of time, can often mimic the stages of a divorce. In the
following article, throwing in the towel, is sometimes what we do when we are negotiating with our boss, our spouse or others.
Sincerely,
Linda
Think Before You Throw In The Towel |
When I meet someone for the first time, and they learn that I am a Divorce Coach, it can evoke some interesting reactions. Some people look at me as if I have three heads. Teasingly, they tell me to get away from them. Others say, “Oh wow, I could really have used your services two years ago.”
The people who are already divorced and did not have the support of anyone other than their attorney,
tell me some unfortunate stories. Some of these divorced men and women “threw in the towel”. Why? Because the divorce process took a huge toll on them mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. For them, it was more than they felt they could take, so they took the path of least resistance to bring the process to a close, the fastest way possible.
When it comes to difficult situations, I understand why someone would want to “just get it over
with”. When you are going through a divorce, the effort it takes to maintain a good relationship with your children, function effectively at work or just make it through each day without having a meltdown, can be overwhelming. If the opposing attorney is ruthless and your ex is being uncooperative, I understand how someone would feel like David facing Goliath. Unfortunately for many of them, this meant settling for less than what they deserved. For some it meant a
financial setback that they are still trying to recover from or less visitation time with their kids than they wanted. It meant being stuck with a house they couldn’t afford and ultimately losing that house to foreclosure.
Short Term Relief Might Equal Long Term
Suffering
If you’re in the midst of a troublesome, emotionally exhausting, divorce and you are thinking about giving up in order to get it over with it, take a step back and rethink this option. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself: - If I make this choice, what will my life look like one year from now, five years from now, or ten years from now? Example: If you have been a stay at home
mom for several years, with no income of your own and you decide not to push for alimony support because it’s too stressful, how will pay for housing and other necessities? Where will you be in a year from now or five years from now?
- What would be in my best interest and in the best interest of the children? Example: If you agree to sell the marital home rather than live in it with the children, where will you and the children live? Can you
qualify for a home loan?
- At what other times in my life have I been faced with stressful challenges that I overcame? Example: Have you ever experienced a time in your life maybe at work or in a family situation where you had to call upon all your patience and fortitude to get through that challenge? What did you do that helped you overcome that obstacle?
- In the past, which activities, places or people have helped you
to calm down and think more clearly? Example: Think of a healthy method you have used in the past to relax your body and your mind. Does writing help? How about painting or listening to music? Does it help to get out in nature or to get a massage? Is there a particular place you like to go? Is there someone you can talk to who will just listen and be supportive?
Throwing in the towel, is only one of the perils of the divorce
process. As a Divorce Coach, I can save my clients time, money and aggravation, by helping them avoid this and other pitfalls.
Have a great week,
Linda
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| For other articles, check out Linda's Blog:
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“Sometimes it's easy to see the negative side of things or question why people bully you. You could think, 'Maybe they're right. Maybe I'm not worth it. Maybe I should just quit.' But that's when you should fight the hardest. Now I don't mean fight physically, but mentally. Keep being you."
~ Raini Rodriguez
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Free Divorce Support Group for Women
Wednesday, September 9, 2015 Sponsored by Visions Anew. In Acworth, GA from 7 pm - 8 pm at Dogwood Forest Assisted Living Community.
Workshop Should I Stay or Should I
Go? Are you feeling conflicted or confused about whether to stay or leave your marriage?
Tuesday, Aug 25 - 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. Acworth, GA Limited Seating - Register by Aug 21, 2015 Early Bird Discount if you register by Aug 17th
Go here for info or to register: Linda Thurwanger Divorce and Life Strategy Coach
Telephone: (770) 966-8261 | |
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