Hello !
If you have ever experienced a setback, you know how challenging it can be to regain your mojo. Your confidence has taken a hit. You know you need to get back into action, but it's easier to hide out than to put yourself front and center.
The ideas I share in this newsletter, will not only help those who have lost their confidence after a setback, but also help readers to gain confidence, even if they never had it before.
So, let's dive in. The good news is that anyone can become confident. You may have noticed that you are confident in some situations and not so confident in others. If that describes you, then
it might help to know that you are normal. If you don't think you have any confidence at all, you are also normal.
The news that is more difficult to hear, is that we only gain confidence by doing the thing we are afraid to do. Yikes! I wish there was another way, but there is no magic pill or self-improvement trick.
For example, consider the act of
learning to ride a bike. No matter how many YouTube videos you watch or how many books you read on how to ride a bike, you will not be confident about your bike riding skills. You have to actually get on a bike and start pedaling, fall over, get up and get back on the bike again. Over time and with practice, you will become confident in your ability to ride a bike.
It is scary to do the thing we fear. To make
doing the scary thing less scary, it helps to stop thinking about yourself and what others might think. Instead, focus on how someone else will benefit from what you do or focus on the benefit you will receive. Will having the courage to do the thing you fear inspire someone else? Do you have a message that will help others live better lives? Will it advance your career, bring you joy, give you better health or more financial peace? If you overcome your fear
and gain confidence, what difference will this make in your life or to your community?
You don't have to jump from A all the way to Z at one time. In fact, that will guarantee that you will fail and then stop trying all together. Instead, start by taking one small action step toward your final goal.
If public speaking is your goal, your first step
might be to do some research on groups to join (Toast Masters), courses to take (Dale Carnegie) or videos by experts in the field that you can watch. Next, you could sign up for a group, or course or watch a few videos to get inspired. After that, you could attend networking events and observe the speakers at those meetings. What do you like about their stage presence? Are they nervous? If so, does that adversely impact their message, enhance their message, or not
make any difference at all?
Eliminate perfectionism from your thought process. No one starts out doing anything perfectly. Even with time and practice, you are still going to make mistakes or feel nervous. Often, in public speaking, the more human and vulnerable you appear to your audience, the more they will be able to relate to you and hear your message.
If you have been hiding out after a setback, be kind and compassionate toward yourself. Take one small step at a time. Celebrate the small wins with the same intensity that you will celebrate the larger wins. You can do this!
I am a Personal & Executive Life Coach. One of the areas I love to work with my clients on is gaining confidence in their talents and abilities to achieve more success in
their businesses, careers and personal lives.
