As the main provider in her household, Rachel cannot walk away from the job. She feels trapped. It doesn't make sense to her to look for another job because she is only about a year away from launching her own business. She believes she has to stay where she is for now.
As an Executive Life Coach, I give my clients a
safe space to talk about whatever is going on in their lives. Often they say things to me that they cannot say to anyone else. This is particularly true with executives and leaders.
My first conversation with Rachel started with me asking her to describe how she was feeling about what was happening at work. I let her talk as I listened for clues that would allow me to support her in the most effective way. I
asked questions to better understand who Rachel is and what she needs... What does she think her boss's bad behavior is saying about her?
To that question, Rachel answered that it made her feel inadequate and devalued. Her boss is showing no respect or appreciation for her loyalty or the years she has devoted to working there. It's disheartening and makes her angry and sad at the same time. Rachel elaborated for a
few more minutes.
Then, I asked Rachel this question... Have you considered the possibility that your boss's behavior is coming from inexperience? Is it possible that he does not understand that his words come across as condescending?
I could see Rachel was processing that question. After a few moments, she looked at me and said she had never thought
of that before. I asked Rachel if that changed the way she felt about how she was being treated by her boss. She said, I'm still upset, but I can see where this is more about my boss's lack of experience and less about me. Seeing that as a possible explanation, tells me to trust what I know about myself and my work and question the accuracy of the opinion of someone else instead of taking it in as if it means something about me.
