I am sure you have heard it said that we always have a choice in whatever we face in life. As much as I agree with that statement, I also know that sometimes our choices range from bad to worse. In that case, we have to decide, given our current circumstance, which option is the best of the worst. If we decide to do nothing, we are making a choice to give our power to someone or something else.

About 30 years ago, in a previous marriage, I was faced with just such bad options. The marriage was over. We tried counseling, but it was too little, too late. My husband at the time, wanted me to immediately move myself and my 13-year-old son out of his house. Believe me, I didn't want to stay there, but my options were few. Whatever choice I made, it meant disrupting our lives and making a change in schools for my son. I owned my own home, but it was rented out and the lease would not be up for another year.

 I would need to rent a place for my son and I to live.  but I did not have the financial means to get an apartment.  As I saw it at that time, my options were to stay where I was and endure a very uncomfortable lifestyle, get a hotel room, or move in with my sister, her husband and their three children. Their house was small with only 3 bedrooms and one full bathroom, so it was already very crowded.

My long-range plan was to move back to my house once the tenants' lease was up. That plan would allow me to put my son back in the school system that he was most familiar with, but that wasn't going to happen quickly.

I was leaning toward moving in with my sister, but if I moved my son there, he would have to change schools more than once. Fortunately, my son's father lived in the area of the school that my son used to attend. My feelings of guilt and shame were almost unbearable.  I was not on good terms with my son's dad, and as difficult as it was to let go of my son, I felt it was best for him to move in with his dad until I could put my life back together. I agonized over my options and although this option was still a terrible one in my eyes, it would be the least disruptive to my son's education and well-being. I chose to put aside my pride, guilt, shame and heartache and do what was best for my boy.

I lived with my sister for a short while and saw my son as often as possible. Eventually, I was able to move back into my house and in time, my son lived with me again.

Sometimes, we are in a position where a choice needs to be made. Our options are not always ideal. In those instances, we must make the best, worst choice. Later, when better options are available to us, we can choose something else.

Lean in to your challenges!

Linda

Linda Thurwanger, CPC

Coaching for Life Website

Reader Participation Section

Where in your life have you been faced with terrible options? What did you do? How did it turn out for you in the end?  

Feel free to share your answers with me in a private email:  linda@lindathurwanger.com